Monday, August 3, 2009

Happiness Doesnt Happen To Us, It Happens By Us

Happiness Doesnt Happen To Us, It Happens By Us

Marguerite Theophil


When we look at people around us who have had relatively smooth and trouble-free lives, we find that some are happy, others unhappy . When we look at those who have had really rough and challenging lives, again, some are happy, others are not.
All this seems to suggest the relevance of an age-old truth: happiness has less to do with circumstances than with our attitude and approach to life.
Happiness does not happen to us, it happens by us. Know that each of us is the creator of our own thoughts and state of mind. This does not mean ignoring the often, painful reality of what happens, but understanding that you can choose your response to something at any given moment.
For example, you can choose to be frazzled and furious with the demands and pressures of a hectic day, feeling miserable about bad luck, colleagues, weather or bad whatever. Or you can call upon the grace of the moment reminding yourself to stop and breathe calmly for just a few moments, finding some beauty to focus on, something to be grateful for in all this. You can choose between forever brooding on an unhappy childhood, or focusing on healing and moving on.
Happiness is called upon and cultivated, involving unlearning as much as learning.
Consider that for a lot of people, unhappiness can be a patterned response ; where we choose a familiar emotional place even if it mostly hurts and brings sorrow. Its a bit like Shadow, my friends rescued puppy; a bruised, starving, sick little creature, he was given a loving caring home and owners. But after all this time, he still twitches, jumps, and scuttles away at the slightest sound or sudden movement. Shadow doesnt run and hide so much because he has something to be terrified of today but simply because thats what he has always done.
Experiences from early life can create habits and patterns that become deeply ingrained, influencing our moods and choices. But, unlike that miserable little dog, we do have the capacity to replace acquired fear or sadness with learned happiness. We can realise that blaming the past or others for our misery, even if partially true, can only give us excuses; it cannot give us the happiness we crave inside. In fact, it usually serves to
increase our suffering! It is established that cultivating feelings of happiness results in a self-generating cycle of biological as much as psychological wellbeing . When you carve out time to go for a walk, or just to the nearest window, or to stop and pray, or dance or sing along to a favourite tune, or share moments with special people, happy hormones flood your system, keeping you healthy. For this, you need to first accept that happiness is something that is generated from within, and it comes with time and practice.
Happiness, at its core, is about discovering meaning, and counting your blessings, not your woes.
Happiness grows in nurturing relationships.
All kinds of intentional relational activities practices in which people actively choose to reach out and engage with and serve others can offer a promising route to lasting happiness.
Happiness then is simply about saying a heartfelt yes to all of life; to more positive emotions, to more engagement, to more meaning and purpose, to more caring relationships.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Integrate & come out of the worry cycle

Integrate & come out of the worry cycle

PARAMAHAMSA NITHYANANDA


INTELLIGENCEis the only way to get freedom from anything that bothers you. If you are sweating about the small stuff, then there is something wrong somewhere . Be very clear that all miseries arise because of self-contradictions . You yourself are not fully clear about what you want to do and so you are unable to do it. For that clarity to happen, you need to nurture your own intelligence.
When intelligence surfaces, self-contradictions will disappear and you will start becoming integrated . When you start becoming integrated , your intelligence will further grow . This is the cycle you need to get into. This is the cycle that can clear your worries also. Understand that you have given a lot of power to your worries by simply talking about them more and more.
For example, when a housewife picks up the telephone, she will start by telling her friend that the maid did not turn up for the day. That is her depression for the day. If you are really depressed about the maid not coming and are really interested in coming out of it, then you should simply drop it and finish doing the work yourself! Doesnt this sound more logical
If you are really interested in dropping your inner chatter and worries, you could try a small exercise . Think of all the things that give you joy. Make up your mind that you will allow your mind to linger on only these things and nothing else. Anything else, you will give just enough energy to get it done and then forget about it. If you try this exercise, you will see that you conserve a lot of energy. All your worries simply disappear and you will acquire a new mental set-up altogether.
Do an honest check for yourself and find out if you are secretly nurturing your worries. When you stop going behind your worries , you will be able to see how others are helplessly caught up in that cycle. You will be able to see how they magnify their worries by endlessly talking about them to people. This talking about worry is what I call worrying about the worry ! Only when you are able to watch this, will the worry cycle break. Until you become the watcher, you are caught up in the emotions, giving so much of power and control to them. Check yourself to find out if you are starting to feel comfortable with your worries. This is the scale to see if worries are controlling you or you are controlling your worries.
If you are feeling comfortable talking about them repeatedly without taking any action, then worries are controlling you. If you dont linger on them and address them correctly, then you are controlling them! Be Blissful!

A leader should be a self manager

A leader should be a self manager

Self management is the foundation stone of an effective leadership. Understanding the complexities and many layers of human psyche begins with self awareness, says Dr Sharda


Leadership mindset the world over has shown a significant shift from using the individual to further the organization to fostering the individual for his own sake as well as that of the organization. A person aspiring to lead other human beings needs to be a self manager. Self management is the foundation stone of an effective leadership. Understanding the complexities and many layers of human psyche begins with self awareness. A charismatic leader is self obsessed but not self absorbed. These are some pointers to guide us in the maze of the psyche and understanding ones self
Introspection and maintaining a daily record
Make a list of your weaknesses and strengths.
Make a list of your short and long term goals and targets
What is your shadow area the trait which is something you sweep under the carpet Generally the shadow is the most sordid and inferior part of us which the mind wants to not acknowledge as its own
Identify the habitual negative thoughts the mind is churning out. These need to be replaced with the rational positive thought.
Be observant about ones body language, tone, speech and listening attentiveness
Create a lag period between an event and the emotional reaction to it. For instance, if you are accustomed to flaring up when ignored by your spouse, delay the reaction till you can change it to a positive one
Cultivate equanimity by taking success and failure, praise and censure and happiness and suffering as passing phenomena. Express emotions with awareness, quit labelling, judging yourself and others
Believe in human potential that mysterious, dormant, limitless something which can move mountains and accomplish miracles
Take your responsibility and job seriously but never yourself. Learn to laugh at yourself
Live in the present. Enjoy your job as an opportunity for growth and self-development . Try to not dwell on the results

Disengaging from the negative past

Disengaging from the negative past

VITHAL C NADKARNI


FOR all the allure of bestsellers like Power of Now, much of what we do focuses away from the present moment . Here you are huffing and puffing away on the treadmill sweating like a slave. Your goal is to savour a slimmer shape for tomorrows party. Here you are steeped in caffeine, battling sleep to overachieve, to get a crack at next years ESOPs. Whether its saying no to sweets at lunch to save your appetite for dinner or scraping and saving here and now in order to send the kids to college in the distant future, most of us spend our lives pursuing our own visions of the future.
You will be surprised by how much of our cognitive energy is invested in as-yet unrealised goals, writes the late Kansas University psychologist Rick Snyder in Hope over Time. As far as we can tell, this future orientation distinguishes humans from other animals. In fact, the majority of the animal kingdom appears to operate in a Zen-like state of ever-present focus.
Snyders contribution to positive psychology included a theory that demystified hope for researchers , clinicians and laypersons (along with a now-classic experiment on Good Morning America). He analysed motivational forces that enable us to disengage ourselves from the negatives of our past by making excuses and granting forgiveness, for instance to connect to more positive or more hopeful possibilities of the future.
The research also uncovered paradoxical nature of hopeful thought, what Sanskrit poets call the shackle that enables the convict to run: Although hopeful thought is primarily a future-oriented behaviour, the events of the past are paramount to its development and maintenance, Snyder said. ( Yet) hope does not develop best in people whose lives were idyllic. Instead hopeful thought is optimised when children are allowed to encounter and overcome obstacles to their goals. Learning to navigate the roadblocks that life throws at us, along with the negative emotions that arise out of these roadblocks , are fundamental to the development of hopeful thinking in adult life.
But when negativity triumphs over hopefulness beware of cognitive error: people frequently attribute the origin of their blockages to their worthlessness as humans , believing that they are stupid or pathetic instead of redefining the goal more objectively . Whatever may happen let it, remember You are That .

Listening With Love And Compassion

Listening With Love And Compassion

Jamuna Rangachari


Long ago, in ancient India, Angulimala the one wearing a garland of fingers struck terror in the hearts of all. He virtually controlled the whole forest. Once, the Buddha set off on the route frequented by Angulimala. Please do not go on this route. Angulimala does not spare anyone, people begged, but the Buddha merely smiled and told them to be at ease.
As soon as the Buddha had traversed a little distance, he could hear thundering footsteps. Angulimala had seen him and was trying to catch up. The Buddha walked steadily while Angulimala ran desperately. Strangely, Angulimala was just not able to do catch up with the Buddha. Utterly frustrated, he cried out, O Bhikkhu (monk), stop, stop! though he did not really expect the monk to stop, thinking there was some magical power in the monk.
To his surprise, the Buddha stopped, turned around, and replied calmly: I have stopped. It is you who have not stopped. Totally bewildered, Angulimala looked on as the Buddha continued, I say that I have stopped because I have given up killing all beings . I have given up ill-treating all beings, and have established myself in universal love, patience and knowledge through reflection . But you still have not given up killing or ill-treating others and you are not yet established in universal love and patience. Hence, you are the one who has not stopped. You could, however, stop anytime you wish to.
Nobody had ever spoken to Angulimala in such a calm and compassionate manner. The peace that he felt just by being in the Buddhas presence was overwhelming. With tears in his eyes, he threw away the necklace of fingers and his weapons. Choked with emotion, he pleaded with the Buddha to admit him to the order of the bhikkhus. The Buddha willingly did so.
Many in the order were aghast. Bound by Buddhas order, they did not oppose the decision but avoided interacting with Angulimala , the dreaded bandit. Observing this, the Buddha counselled Angulimala: Be patient. Your bad karma will cease to haunt you if you remain calm and composed. Angulimala understood and continued serving in the community patiently and lovingly.
Over a period of time, he realised he was especially skilled in helping women in labour as blood, pain and shrieks did not unnerve him. Gradually, his past identity dropped and he became known as the person who was very skilled in helping women deliver babies. This tale reveals many truths. The statement of the Buddha, I have now stopped , that was crucial in effecting Angulimalas transformation , is a wonderful message of compassion and empathy. Once transformed, Angulimala struggled to earn the respect of others. The Buddha counsels him to keep going, for, in due course, by following the path, he is sure to gain acceptance of the community. This shows us that penitence may be tested severely but, if it is genuine, there is acceptance at the end of the struggle. Redemption happens only with time and sincere effort.
At the societal level, this tale is eternally relevant in showing us that even a hardcore criminal can turn into a socially responsible and caring individual if he is approached with understanding and empathy. Buddhahood is within reach if only we take the path of love and compassion.

Natural Healing Is All About Balance

Natural Healing Is All About Balance

David Vennells


Our body is like a microcosm of our planet When one part of this delicate natural machine is disturbed it sends ripples of stress through the whole
One of the most important aspects of natural healing is to understand that healing depends on balance. If our external and internal lifestyles are balanced then, assuming we have the potential to get well, all the conditions necessary for healing are in place. To establish external balance we should develop a good, simple diet, drink plenty of water, get enough rest and sleep, exercise regularly within our capacity and have an enjoyable job or purpose in life or learn to enjoy it! Also it helps to live in a clean and healthy environment. We also need supportive and healthy relationships and should avoid substance abuse.
We also have a subtle body made of energy . This subtle body is made up of life force energy; it runs through subtle pathways or meridians and centres of energy, also known as chakras. One of the main ways that a skilful healer helps the body to heal is simply by stimulating and unblocking the meridians so our natural energies flow freely bringing mental, emotional and eventually physical balance and well-being . This is the main way that most natural healing therapies work
Life Force Energy is the subtle foundation of all life, a sort of cosmic soup that supports, nourishes and sustains the cycle of birth, life and death of all forms of life. Physical matter is made up of differing frequencies of energy. Solid objects are made up of energy vibrating at a very low or slow frequency. Less solid objects like water, air and subtle life force energy are vibrating incredibly fast. Buddhism, Chinese medicine, Vedic science and other similar eastern philosophies understand the concept of energy much better than we do
One aspect of the eastern understanding of God is as Universal Life Force Energy, the source of all life. The life force in plants, trees, animals, humans, planets, stars and universes comes from this one source. Make contact with it and maintain or recreate good physical , mental and spiritual health. When we are in touch with this energy through prayer, meditation, taking a walk in the countryside or receiving healing we feel less separate and increasingly whole within ourselves and within the whole of creation. We experience a sense of unity, we become more aware of our place or role in the great scheme of things and at the same time we feel supported, safe, open and confident in our ability to be all that we are. We can say that these spiritual or personal experiences are the essence of healing
The real meaning of natural healing is to restore a person to wholeness and having a healthy body is only a small part of this. A good natural healing treatment has the effect of restoring openness to our energy system so we can receive a well balanced flow of Universal Life Force Energy that is often cut off or restricted by illness. Being cut off from this life force is often the cause of much illness
Happiness or fulfilment is just a state of mind it comes from within so it is impossible to find the lasting peace of mind we long for in the external world. In this way illness can be a real blessing in disguise because it can help to start us on that inner journey towards wholeness and ultimate healing

Monday, July 27, 2009

GRACE AND The Trika Tradition Of Kashmir Shaivism

The Trika Tradition Of Kashmir Shaivism

Pranav Khullar


Since Rudra is One, the knowers of Brahmn did not wait in anticipation for a second deity, says the Svetasvatara Upanishad, thereby setting the tone for early Shaivite thought. Unique in its overtly theistic strain, this Mantra Upanishad as it is called by Adi Shankara, is the first to allude to Shiva-Rudra as the Parama-Purusha , and can be considered as a poetic forerunner of the later philosophical tenets of Shaivite traditions, especially the Trika school of Kashmir Shaivism. From Sage Svetasvatara to the philosopher Abhinavgupta there is an unbroken chain of thought which sees Shiva as the Inexpressible Truth which the yogis realise by focusing their minds on the Self.
The Trika tradition of Kashmir Shaivism puts Shiva at the centre of this matrix of Being and Becoming there is only one Being, Shiva, who is the nature and existence of all beings, filled with the infinite light or prakasha of universal consciousness . The external world, too, is seen as a reflection of this Shiva consciousness, Pratibimbavada, the theory of reflection, where Creation, the Shakti is not external or independent of God-consciousness , but is a mirror of this Shiva principle. It is not separate but one only just as fire is one with its heat, in contrast to the Shankara-Advaita proposition that the outer world is merely a projection of maya or illusion.
Shiva himself forms the basis of this unique monistic thought, since he is shown as being synonymous with the Purusha principle, the underlying Self of the universe, from whom emanates the manifest world, the Prakriti-Shakti principle , and into whom everything dissolves back. The Trika tradition does not stress on the need for a devotional worship of Shiva, but sees the relationship of Shiva and Jiva as one of an inherently existing Oneness and identity. This interplay of the soul and world is defined as Shivas dynamic first impulse, arousing himself from his static samadhi, in which there is no outer world to manifest. Through this leela or divine play of Shiva through his Shakti or Creation Shiva himself is able to recognise his own universal consciousness for otherwise, Abhinavgupta says, there is nothing to recognise, for that consciousness is already there. The Kashmir Shaivite believes that even though every being has this intrinsic knowledge of his Shiva nature, it is overshadowed completely by the mind, the cogito, and its act of incessant thinking by which all beings have got into the habit of defining themselves. To transcend the mind is to find the Shiva nature within oneself, which is to realise that the you and i are actually the same.
This transcendence of mind, Trika says, can be achieved through anavopaya, disciplining the ego or anava through meditative practices, or through the method of saktopaya wherein energy centres are sought to be activated by centring ones attention to the silence which comes up between the end of one thought and the beginning of another, usually not even felt, but everpresent , the Kundalini path.
The path of Grace through total surrender is the third means of recognition pratyabighna darsana of ones Shiva consciousness , and Trika believes this to the most effective, the sambavopaya, freedom from thought through the Grace of Sambu-Shiva .
This turning inwards into the origin of thought itself leads one to the fulfilled state of anupaya, where the Jiva sees himself reflected in the image of Shiva himself, and knows that Shiva and Shakti are identical.